We could watch Ricky Ponting bat all day, provided he was working on a major technical fault in the nets after being dismissed for a golden duck. Not even Simon Katich’s mum enjoys watching Simon Katich bat.

This pair haven’t read the script. The people and the media wanted to watch Phil Hughes bat. We got to see a bit of him yesterday and our own thoughts are that he’ll be a half-decent batsman just as soon as he works out there’s a whole extra half of a cricket field into which he’s also allowed to hit the ball.

Ponting and Katich though? There weren’t too many Ashes previews fantasising about this kind of partnership, which has perhaps helped create a vast collective blindspot about Australia’s middle order.

Comparisons of the two sides have often deemed England’s bowling attack slightly superior. Brilliant, think the English – but this isn’t a bowl off. England’s bowlers need to be better than Australia’s batsmen not their bowlers. Simon Katich has hit six hundreds and averaged 57 since he returned to the Test team in 2008. Ponting’s just hit his eleven thousandth run and averages 56. Michael Clarke’s averaged 50 over the last couple of years and Mike Hussey’s average has plummeted all the way down to 55. With Mitchell Johnson at eight, we can look forward to a lot of innovative field placings while England are in the field. Unless it starts swinging, in which case Australians suddenly start pretending they’re on a campervan holiday back home: doing lots of driving a long way from anything.

At least we hope that’s what happens, because watching Australians bat all day is only barely more tolerable than listening to them bitch and moan about the cold when it’s a positively balmy 14 degrees. Perhaps nesh, Antipodean refugee, Jrod, can explain why his people are so soft on Monday, provided his middle order haven’t bored him to death over the weekend?

King Cricket blogs at www.kingcricket.co.uk. He is a cult figure in the world of cricket blogs and was TWC’s first Best-of-blogs winner in April 2008.