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Unsure about your “corridor of uncertainty”? Worried that your “good areas” might not be up to snuff? Confused about exactly when you ought to “put your hand up”? Fret not: over the next 20 odd weeks, the Wisden Cricketer Online will bring you the Alternative Cricket Dictionary, edited by Alan Tyers, and we would very much like your contributions and suggestions. Please send your definitions to cricdic@gmail.com, or put them on twitter#cricdic or the comments below, and we will publish them.
Sachin Indian deity.
Saeed Anwar Last of a now mythical race: the Pakistan opening batsman.
Salisbury, Ian Legspin was widely thought to be a dying or dead art until Ian emerged. And especially after he did.
Sarfraz Nawaz Inventor of reverse swing and kick-starter of one of the great debates in cricket: skill or bottle top?
Schofield, Chris You wait a generation or more for a great English leggie, then Schoey and Salisbury come along at once. Like buses. If the buses turned out to be a lorry and a fire engine.
Scorer Man who can tell you how many left-handers have been out caught behind on 40 at this ground in the month of May, but not what a lady looks like in the nip.
Scotland Country where it’s not really warm enough to play cricket reliably, and where the national side is often made up of Antipodeans. Oh, hang on…
Seam Movement off the pitch, or with a fingernail underneath it.
Seconds Poor sods who have to go and play cricket against 16-year-olds or the nearly retired in front of three people on council parks, pretending to the coach that they care desperately about it in a bid to be allowed back into the land of the living. Also descriptive of Mike Gatting’s lunchtime regimen.
Shah, Owais Talented but highly-strung Middlesex man who was hauled around for tour after tour to do drinks; and then everyone seemed surprised that he never looked confident in his right to be playing international cricket.
Shahid Afridi Ball bitin’, pitch twirlin’, big hittin’ one game quittin’ former Test captain.
Shakoor Rana Superbly angry umpire who wore Pakistan jersey and hat, and then accused Gatting of cheating, leading to international incident and neutral umpires. Brilliant quotes included: “In Pakistan many men have been killed for the sort of insults he threw at me. He’s lucky I didn’t beat him” and “I have now established that the umpire is the superpower in the game. I did it for umpires everywhere.”
Shep Plump, kindly old creature that stood on one leg.
Shoaib Akhtar Surrey legend.
Shooter One of the cruellest ways to get out. Quite revealing of a bowler’s make-up if he celebrates a wicket from one as if he’d just bowled a Gatting Ball.
Shot Confusingly for the newcomer, in cricket, this actually means “good shot”.
Shrewsbury, Arthur When WG was asked who he wanted in the team, he said simply “Give me Arthur”. Later adopted by successive England captains into “give me Mullally”.
Shy To throw at stumps from mid-range; only ever used in the context of cricket and coconuts.
Sidebottom, Ryan Affable manner and comedy haircut belied actually rather poisonous streak on field, fond of yelling at team-mates for poor fielding, etc. Has found place taken by younger, better-coiffured seamers.
Siddle, Peter Yeoman-like Aussie quick, reputation has grown in absentia recently. A-hundred-and-10-percenter, Sidds seems like a decent guy, although you probably wouldn’t have him on your quiz team. That said, imagine a pub quiz team made up of the Australian pace attack. Wow.
Single, Quick Often seen on pitch when team looking for runs, never in members’ bar.
L. Sivaramakrishnan Suggested chat-up line: “It is said that this Indian batsman shared with Hugh Bromley-Davenport the longest surname in Test cricket. But due to the vagaries and customs of South Indian naming systems, it interestingly turned out L. Sivaramakrishnan wasn’t actually his surname, it was his given name, his actual surname being Laxman, which is of course just six letters. Your place or mine?”
Six “The best and most exciting thing in cricket, the event we all pay to see above all else” – IPL.
“Bit uppish” – proper cricket.
Slap Risky cross-batted shot; something Boycs would never have done. Despite what them French people said in court.
Sledge Method of mentally unsettling an opponent by cleverly preying on his self-doubts and specific weaknesses; or alternatively just calling him a cee from the slips.
Slider Warne-invented delivery, which he spoke of with great mystique, accentuating its unique behaviour and wicket-taking threat. Actually seemed to be a straight ball bowled a bit quicker, but that was all part of the show.
Small, Gladstone Whole-hearted, level-headed but no-necked England seamer.
Smear Key shot in the pub player’s repertoire. Best to wait until you’re well set for this one, and rely on your heave and your squeeze through the slips until you get going.
Smith, Ed Was found to be too clever for dressing rooms of both Kent and Middlesex.
Smith, Graeme Bull-necked Saffer who was made captain in his early teens, but has now finally grown up a bit and stopped being so stroppy.
Smith, Robin Stood bravely alone for England on dozens of occasions in the Dark Days, so selectors binned him off when he was still one of best around. Nice.
Snorter Unplayable delivery, or large enough drink to make you unplayable after lunch.
Snow, John Superb and bolshy Seventies quick. Later newsreader.
Sobers, Sir Garfield Probably the greatest allrounder ever, or at least until the emergence of David Capel.
Spin To impart sideways movement on the ball; or to explain a humiliating defeat as having “a lot of positives to take from this”.
Spoon To offer embarrassing, simple catch.
Spot, Hot Latest televisual trickery, although not going to be used in next World Cup due to cost considerations. Salman Butt – who, it turns out, is not just Test cricket’s newest captain but also an expert on thermodynamics and infrared imagining – reckons that Hot Spot is iffy on instances where the ball has hit a plastic label. Thank you, Professor Butt.
Sreesanth Indian seamer so daft that he could not even decide what his name was.
Stewart, Alec Patriotic, never-say-die keeper-batsman-opener-middle-order- powerhouse-captain-commentator-agent.
Stiff Superbly evocative, and not a little cruel, description of Second XI.
Strauss, Andrew Quiet but determined England captain and bat, nickname Lord Brocket. Interesting to see what Aussie crowds make of him as skipper.
Streaky Descriptive of a four scored by tailender or the contents of Rob Key’s isotonic pre-match bap.
Styris, Scott Given his, erm, unique looks, one would hope that his nickname might be “Styris The Virus”. Sadly, it’s “Piggy”. Shame.
Subba Row, Raman Fiery Fred wished his mum had kept her legs together; clearly RSR had a taste for the obscene: he agreed to be chairman of the TCCB.
Suicidal Descriptive of a single taken by KP when on nought.
Super Sopper Marketing term for a big sponge.
Surrey A powerhouse a few years ago, and self-styled Manchester United of cricket, which they were only in the sense that nobody liked them and all their fans are from Guildford. Now rubbish.
Swann, Graeme Chirpy spinner who, unusually for an England ‘team joker’, is actually really good at cricket.
Swing Thing that Jimmy is King of, every now and again.
By Alan Tyers
