In November 2009 TWC published an appeal on behalf of Cockermouth cricket club, who had been badly affected by the floods in the North of England.

We have recently heard from Cockermouth, and it seems that with your help the club has been able to fight back.

Hugh Gimber, the club’s vice captain, says “We have gratefully accepted many offers of help in different forms. Repairs to the ground have been extensive but successful and we will return to Sandair at the beginning of next season. However, thanks to the generosity of other clubs and businesses in the area, we have still managed to run three senior and five junior teams, the majority of whom have played at a ground in Dovenby owned by Malcolm Wilson Motorsport.”

Cockermouth have also organised a fund-raising evening on 1st September in Workington, Cumbria, where commentator and former-England coach David ‘Bumble’ Lloyd will be the star guest. Tickets are £25 including a traditional Cumberland hot buffet. Contact George Todhunter on 07825 545777 for further details.

Over the weekend, TWC received the following email from Hugh Gimber, vice-captain of Cockermouth Cricket Club, whose ground has been badly damaged by the floods that have attacked the north of England over the last week.

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Relegated. That’s what’s happened. No great surprise. I’d like to say it’s been a roller-coaster ride this season – to use a proper captain’s cliché – but it’s been more roll (downwards), then a gentle coast (upwards) and now flat-lining.

Last weekend’s game did throw up that experience which other sports rarely offer. We needed a win to have a glimmer of hope but when I discovered Alan Richardson (England A, Middlesex, opening bowler) was playing for Shepherds Bush, it was game over, in truth.

How often does an amateur footballer get to play against England’s finest? When do club rugby players face internationals? Even golfers have to pay a healthy sum to play alongside the world’s best in pro-am events. In cricket, if you play in the right leagues, all you have to do is turn up.

And it’s great. Okay, it is unfair – especially if he’s a quick bowler – but it is a privilege. I faced a bloke who was properly quick, who has taken serious first-class wickets. I faced two balls – yes, two. The first was a good lbw shout. The second removed my off stump. I saw it, played it, thought I’d hit it when I heard a healthy, wooden noise …

This is a bowler described on Cricinfo as a fast-medium journeyman. The next time I sit in the office describing Collingwood as rubbish or saying that Sidebottom bowls too slow (I’ve actually faced him as well, he was too quick for me), I’ll have in the back of my mind that this is nonsense. On the grand scheme of things, they are all brilliant players.

We can have no complaints with the relegation – thumped by a better team in the crucial game even if a couple of the opposition felt a touch guilty about Richardson’s performance (4 for 18 off 10 but it ripped the heart out of our run chase).

So – division three next season. Bring it on. We’re not going to lose too many players and I can see us causing chaos.

Edward Craig is deputy editor of The Wisden Cricketer

Apologies for my silence as I know many of you have been desperate for updates on Barnes CC (the club I captain in the Middlesex league) and our struggle. No excuses for the delay, just dealing with the slow-burning trauma of the season that all cricket captains endure. I think I’ve resolved it.

Remember the gamble? It didn’t pay off. If you remember, a bloke rings ups, demands to be in the 1s, saying we’ll avoid relegation ‘guaranteed’ if we picked him. I took a punt. He missed his second ball in his first game, then his 20th ball in his second game. He looked a passable player but no star and when he demanded money, saying that he was from Karachi, like Owais Shah, and Owais Shah “would do as well as me” in those games (I’d love to test that theory for a couple of Saturdays). I decided not to pick him any more. He then asked for “females”. I think something was lost in translation, he just wanted to be set–up on a date, but I didn’t get involved. I wished him well for the future …

We did win a match, at last, against Twickenham and their aggressive batting line-up. We made 166 (poor batting again), they were 57 for 7 when the captain dropped a sitter that made sitters look difficult – that became 145 for 7. During that partnership, I didn’t say much. I found it difficult and lost control. Not of myself but the game. All players know there is nothing worse than dropping a catch. Everyone is angry yet everyone knows you didn’t do it on purpose. I sat quietly at mid-on and let the game unfold around me – the vice captain spotted my mood immediately, saw what was required and took over while I recovered. But, finally, we stole a wicket, then two more and won the game.

It was a strange feeling winning – no one knew what to do. We weren’t used to smiling at the end of games, so we sat quietly in the dressing room afterwards. I ended up arguing with a couple of players about the batting order – my first clash coming after my first win. That’s what happens when you get out of your comfort zone.

Edward Craig is deputy editor of The Wisden Cricketer

The phone rings and I don’t recognise the number. “Hello.” A thick Asian accent.

“Hello”

“If you pick me for the game this Saturday, you will not get relegated.”

That’s the first thing he says. No name, no cricket CV, just a guarantee on non-relegation. Barnes may be desperate but picking players in the first team on the back of a 16-word phone call is beyond even us.

“I am a good batsman, I have scored a hundred against Barnes in 2000 and now I want to save you from relegation.”

It’s the hard sell.

I tell him to slow down, what’s your name (Jaff), where are you from (Karachi), where have you played before (Eastcote and North Middlesex). He’s just finished exams and is now looking for a club. It all sounds a bit fishy.

But he did guarantee non-relegation – and that’s dangling there desperately.

Ignoring the sensible side of my brain, I agree to have a net with him on Saturday morning before the game. He will not play this Saturday.

We have that net and, to give him his due, he looks a decent batsman. But it is only a net and he is wearing black shoes and chinos. He also bowls a little offspin.

“Do you want me Saturday?” I’ll think about it.

Losing draw against Shepherds Bush. Game taken away from us by a six ball 26 at the end of their innings. It is better than a loss and feels like a win.

Monday’s selection meeting: “Hello, Jaff?”

“Yes?”

“You free Saturday? We’re playing Richmond.”

Non-relegation. Guaranteed.

Edward Craig is deputy editor of The Wisden Cricketer

I captain a league side. Barnes CC in the Middlesex League division two – that’s one below the premier league, which is called division one – confused? So if we get promoted, we get to play at a first-class ground (Southgate) against resting Middlesex county players, retired pros and myriad Aussie and Saffa imports – think teams full of Grant Elliotts.

But we’re not going to get promoted. We’re heading the other way. At least, if the form that has so richly deserted our batting continues to remain reclusive, we’re heading south. And this brings its own problems. Seven games in, five losses, two losing draws and a two-point deduction for fielding an ineligible player has left Barnes CC at the foot of the table on nil points.

It can only get better, say the chin-uppers (they are my support). Sadly, they are wrong. Things can also stay the same.

So, like every week, I look at my availability sheet to prepare to do battle with the second-team captain over any form players. As usual, availability is poor and getting worse. This is the difficulty with losing. Injuries take longer to mend and happen more frequently, players retire mid-season readily – I’ve had two of those this morning – bad batsmen think they should bat higher up the order, good batsmen think they should bat lower, or worse, think they should bowl. Everyone blames everyone and everything for the poor form – we should bat first, we should field first, we need to find a pro, we need to coax this bloke out of retirement, we need to practise harder, we need to practise less, we need to relax, we need to be more fired up.

And, as captain, I sit in the middle taking all the advice, occasionally listening to it, then pick my side.

Everyone knows why we are rubbish this season, everyone knows how to make it better but no one admits it. The strength of my club is its enormous weakness. Barnes allows players to miss Saturdays without sanction. I am going to five Saturday weddings this year myself, so it’s not like I can complain. You miss a Saturday and you don’t lose your spot. Someone comes in, then drops out. There’s little team unity or spirit as a result and if the results don’t work, you feel that disjointed dressing-room more acutely. Having to introduce new faces to a team each week is weird and wrong.

What Barnes does have is massive talent – great batsmen, good bowlers – but it is not coming together yet.

But, I’ll still keep going, keep selecting, keep turning up to training, keep enthusiastic. That’s the least I can do.

And it is only a game – it’s not even a job – even if it can feel more than that.