There have been moments over the past week when you may have despaired at Indian cricket’s capacity to regulate itself. And then – salvation! For Chirayu Amin, the man who has temporarily replaced Lalit Modi as the IPL’s head honcho, has come up with a cunning plan. “Right now,” he told an Indian TV station, “we are reorganising the office of the IPL and BCCI so that everything is in the right place, the right filing.” Well, hallelujah! (Especially if the files are colour-coded and stored in laminate folders.)

Reporting stints at the first two IPLs left this hack divided: genuine enjoyment of the stuff on the pitch; and a nagging disquiet about the excesses off it. Chief among the latter was the way Modi – chairman and commissioner (now what was that about?) – treated the tournament like an extension of his own ego. When it became apparent that cameramen were contractually obliged to film him, close up, for a certain amount of time at every game he attended, you just knew you were in the presence of self-imposed greatness.

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Lalit Modi is melting. Or being melted. Watching this from England, I am three-fold bewildered.

The actual IPL bewildered me first: its showmanship, its destruction of bowlers, its size, its money and its flamboyance. I watched it bewildered and entranced – there was so much going on that for everything odious (the DLF maximums etc), there was something great (the atmosphere, the strokeplay).

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The Vodafone mascot, Zoo Zoo, at best looks like a weird alien, at worst like a sex-ed cartoon character.

Doug Bollinger crosses himself on the field regardless of taking a wicket, whether Matthew Hayden taught him this is unknown. Read the rest of this entry »

Volcanic ash, eh? I guess there are worse places to be stuck than Bangalore, but sometimes only home is really good enough.

I’d probably feel happier if someone could say: “You’re going home in five days.” What I actually get is more like: “One more day. And another. And another. And another. And another.” How can you chase down the opposition’s total when 10 runs get added every time you’re one shot from victory?

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It’s been a great start to the County Championship – lots or run-chases, pitches breaking up naturally and big performances. But it’s hard to ignore the predictability of the main run-scorers: Trescothick, Rogers and Ramprakash have all, inevitably, hit hundreds.

You only need Di Venuto, Shah and Bopara to complete the usual set of centurions. Shame, then, that the two English batsmen are currently playing competitive cricket, just not in the Championship.

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It’s not too late to join the gold rush. All you need is a starting bid of $225 million and this handy guide

Smoke Out A Good Name
The Chennai Superkings and the Rajasthan Royals have shown the
marketing potential of no-longer-fashionable cigarette brands.
Consider the Ahmedabad Rothmans, the Kanpur John Player Specials or
the Goa Capstan Full Strengths. Do not worry about the so-called
health problems associated with smoking: the IPL is not afraid to
advertise Citi Group, and everybody hates big banks, so a few cancer
sticks should be no problem at all.
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Yesterday, Northants announced that Virender Sehwag will not actually be playing in the Twenty20 Cup this year. Boo – say all county cricket fans. Hurrah – say all county bowlers: “Sad for Northants, not so for all the bowlers! Collective sigh of relief,” says Middlesex’s Iain O’Brien via Twitter.

But why!? Why is the most exciting current player in the world, the No.1 Test ranked batsman, not coming to England this summer? It’s all about politics – India is flexing its muscles.

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I seem to be losing interest in the IPL. A lot of people might be in a similar position, but few of them will be flying to Bangalore on Friday with IPL tickets in their bag.

I’ve known I was going since the tournament started and when they announced that matches were going to be shown live on ITV4, it gave me the best possible way of keeping in touch with what was going on, building up to my trip. Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe I’m spent.

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Brendon McCullum is one of the faces of Twenty20 cricket. His extraordinary 158, which cut the IPL ribbon two years ago, is still the highest in the shortest format of the game and he made the second Twenty20 international century a few weeks ago.

But when I spoke to McCullum for the April issue of The Wisden Cricketer (out on Friday) it was clear he is intent upon a more wide-ranging impact on the game.

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It is about this time that the Indian Premier League starts to fudge into a nothingness for me. And we’re only a week into the tournament.

I look up to the screen. Another pair of teams in pyjamas. Another bit of Ravi Shastri hype. Another wicket. Another six (and another cliché to describe it). Another cheerleader. Another catch, drop, run-out.

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