Take the positives out of this one. It’s like going for a picnic in a field full of dog turds and identifying the least offensive turd to lay your blanket next to.

The best I can do is say that currently the worst parts of the whole affair rely on the word of Mazhar Majeed. Arranging for the odd no-ball is bad enough, but actual match-fixing is a good few steps beyond that. I’d like to think that the arranged elements of matches didn’t stretch much beyond what appears to have happened in the Lord’s Test, but Majeed claimed he had fixed entire Test matches.

Read the rest of this entry »

The fourth Test starting at Lord’s tomorrow has become the grandstand finale this strange summer hardly deserves. A week ago the talk was of a whitewash, accompanied by the complacent lament that this was no sort of preparation for the Ashes. Now, England feel like an hour of doosras and reverse-swing away from surrendering a 2-0 lead against the side ranked a distant sixth in the world. It’s precisely the kind of frisson Andy Flower may reflect he could have done without.

Because make no mistake: the situation has changed. Not only are England suddenly fighting for their pre-Brisbane credibility (and they really are: 233 and 222 on a decent Brit Oval track hinted at frailties we all hoped had disappeared), but they are still scratching their heads over how best to fit seven batsmen into six.

Read the rest of this entry »

What a difference one player makes. Suddenly, with a batting line up that has some experience and some true, proven Test class, Pakistan look formidable.

Mohammad Yousuf is a craftsman and artist, so calm, so deliberate yet has stacks of flair. His best moment yesterday was first a drive from a slightly over-pitched delivery from Steven Finn then a beautiful late cut from a slightly shorter ball. The balls were not that bad – the batting was just brilliant.

Read the rest of this entry »

Salman Butt almost gave the game away yesterday. Speaking about the perilous role of the Pakistan captaincy, he came close to implying that his job has more in common with leading no-hopers than would-be champions.

‘It is a challenge,’ he said, keeping a commendably straight face as he risked stating the bleedin’ obvious. ‘Everyone would love to be captain of Australia with seven quality batsmen and three quality fast bowlers and winning all around the world, but if the same guy became captain of Bangladesh then I don’t think he would want the job for long.’

Read the rest of this entry »

What was that at Edgbaston? Some Pakistani resolve? Zulqarnain Haider, forgiven a king pair by technology, taunting the English bowlers by showing them his stumps before covering up like a crab, then launching them over their heads and almost smiling as he did so. Saeed Ajmal, taking body blows to score his maiden fifty and make England fret.

Did you see the way Ajmal turned to the dressing room and pumped his fists? Did you see, when Ajmal’s innings did come to an end, Haider halting his partner’s return to the pavilion to shake his hand? Pakistan were never likely to come back into the Test, but that plain show of resistance – and unity – may yet salvage this one-sided series.

Read the rest of this entry »

How bad is bad? How long is a piece of string? Don’t know. Why not measure it?

It’s easy to see 80 all out and dismiss a batting side’s ability but when you’re already losing a match and wickets start falling, it’s that much harder to play at your best. Being a young side is never an excuse but it can exacerbate situations like that.

I can’t claim that Pakistan’s batting is particularly good but nor can I write it off like a Vauxhall Nova I’ve driven into a bollard. These are young batsmen in alien conditions and they’re under significant pressure due to selection issues. The swinging ball is defeating them and when wickets fall, they lack resilience. Would they perform better in friendlier circumstances? Azhar Ali and Umar Amin might prove immovable under clear skies but at present they’ve no Test experience of dank, cloudy days.

Read the rest of this entry »

England’s excellent victory over Pakistan on Sunday did leave me with an ambivalent taste in the mouth – if ambivalence has a flavour. Great that England won, great that they bowled so well, great that Matt Prior and Eoin Morgan scored hundreds.

But the weakness of the opposition batting and catching made it easy. And it is this weakness that fills me with dread. Cricket cannot afford to have any more Test nations consistently performing so woefully.

Read the rest of this entry »

At Headingley, Hawk-Eye made a mistake.

Mohammed Amir was lbw to Shane Watson first ball in Pakistan’s first innings. The ball crashed into his pads, he was playing no shot and Rudi Koertzen did the rest. Hawk-Eye showed the ball clearly missing off stump.

Read the rest of this entry »

To the outsider, the constant arguing and squabbling can seem confusing, but it’s really very simple. Here are the key issues and figures in the latest row at the PCB…

In a bid to heal the deep rifts in the team, the PCB has flexed its muscles and hit batting stars Iqbal Butt and Salim Khan with lifetime bans that insiders say could literally last for a “couple of months or more” before being overturned on appeal.

Read the rest of this entry »

There is doing things by halves, there is not doing things by halves and then there is doing things like Shahid Afridi. To do things like Shahid Afridi it is necessary to have absolutely no concern as to whether your way of doing things is self-defeating or not. It is about taking stock; weighing up the evidence; concluding that something is demented and highly unlikely to be successful; and then doing it anyway. It is about renouncing reason in all its forms and freewheeling through a garishly-coloured world of frightening highs and jaw-droppingly inevitable lows.

Read the rest of this entry »