It wasn’t Kieswetter smashing it that got me or KP sprinting on to the field like a deranged wildebeest it was Colly punching the winning runs through midwicket. That made my heart flutter. As the skipper himself appeared to say: “F***ing come on!”

Nasser Hussain, with his well-cultivated journalistic nous, raised the issue of England’s South African-born players towards the end of England’s crushing victory on Sunday.

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It’s all gone Pakistan shaped.

The Pakistan board has banned its best players from international cricket – Younis Khan and Mohammed Yousuf – imposed year-long bans on other senior players including Shoaib Malik, fined Shahid Afridi for chewing the leather and the Akmal brothers for behaving childishly.

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Statistics only tell you about what’s already happened; that’s what I always say. Much of the popularity of cricket is built on statistics, but the wise analysts know you need a decent sample size before drawing any conclusions. This is why I hold series averages in low regard.

Yesterday was day one of the second Test between India and South Africa and we were being fed series averages. That’s not an average. That’s barely more than one match worth of information. Just as the commentators were telling us about what a shoddy series Harbhajan Singh had been having, it all turned round for him.

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Dale Steyn this week took his fourth 10-wicket haul in Tests to bowl South Africa to victory in the first Test against India at Nagpur. Before the series started he spoke to Charlie Kitchen about the resignation of Mickey Arthur, his partnership with Morne Morkel and his love of speed.

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It’s becoming one of those little anomalies that everyone in cricket knows about. Jacques Kallis has hit 34 Test hundreds but none of them has been a double. I daresay he’s a bit pissed off about it with so many other people passing 200 these days. Hashim Amla was the latest, making 253 not out this weekend – many of those runs made while batting with Kallis, who fell for 173.

Many of the great names in cricket have hit double hundreds, but not all of them have been great batsmen. Bradman and Lara are names you expect to see in a list of players who’ve passed 200, but Wasim Akram hit a Test double hundred and so did Jason Gillespie. It would be fair to say that Kallis is more used to being mentioned alongside the first pair than the second.

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Alan Tyers looks at the job advert for South Africa’s new coach

APPLY: gsmith@cricketsouthafrica.co.za

Firstly, the board would like to stress that it will be our decision who picks the coach and applications are only being sent to Graeme because apparently his email would be best for that sort of thing and it is definitely NOT just his decision.

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In the latest edition of Intelligent Life magazine, Ed Smith – who has made the unusual transition from cricketer to Times leader writer – recalls how the ever-growing numbers of back-room staff at county level has paradoxically taught players not to ask: “What is it that you do, exactly?” The story behind Mickey Arthur’s demise as coach of South Africa has failed to answer the question.

Arthur’s farewell press conference this morning in his home town of East London – a suitably unpretentious venue for a likeable man – produced the usual superficial treacle about “different visions” and “normal stock-taking processes”. Such jargon presumably satisfies all parties – sorry, stakeholders – there really is a science to this thing called coaching.

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We have a running joke at Wisden Cricketer Towers that whenever we put someone on the cover of the magazine, some terrible fate befalls them – generally that they get injured.

The jinx started with issue one in September 2003 when a cover interview with England’s rising star James Anderson coincided with him losing form and then getting injured.

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At the end of each Test series, the TWC team pick a composite side – the best team made up of the two sets of players from the series. There is usually an argument about one or two spots – this time it’s the final bowling spot.

But, for once, there is almost a clear-cut Rubbish Composite XI – a team of players who utterly under-performed throughout the series.

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South Africa-England: what an excellent series that was. Thinking about the Umpire Decision Review System – or Daryl Harper’s version of it ¬– and Graham Onions’ resolution, I can only smile at the peculiarities of the game.

Let’s start with Onions and the ancient tradition of the tailender. What other sport creates a scenario whereby players, representing their national team, are required to do something that thousands (at least) are far more qualified to do?

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