Another Monday. Another set of revelations to trawl through.

Pakistan are three players down, four if you include the unnamed player being investigated, five when you consider that Yasir Hameed is unlikely to be welcomed back into the dressing room. The Pakistani administrators are doing passable stand-up routines and the ICC is at pains to stress that this affair does not represent the tip of the iceberg as far as cricket and match-fixing goes. Perhaps they are right not to want to scratch the scab too hard.

This is the biggest scandal to hit cricket since Hansie Cronje in 2000, yet as far as match-fixing allegations go it is as convenient for the ICC as it could be, in that it involves Pakistan – cricket’s traditional villains – long at the heart of any skulduggery from match-fixing to ball-tampering.

Yet the relative poverty of the Pakistani players allied to the inherent corruption within their system – both political and cricketing – makes it more difficult to imagine how any of their players avoid the temptation.

The Cronje affair reverberated further because of what he stood for – if South Africa’s inspirational post-Apartheid captain – a devout Christian – was capable of taking a bookmaker’s money then anyone was. Given that the ICC claims to have made significant steps to stamp out corruption since then, imagine the impact if this IS the tip of the iceberg? What if there are other nations in on the fix?

But how do you root out match-fixing? Legalise gambling in the subcontinent? Ban spot-betting in sport? Regulate agents? Make an example of the players? It’s a mess – no one has an answer. As long as there is gambling in sport and as long as there are greedy people there will be corruption. Forget Twenty20, this is the real threat to cricket’s relationship with its audience over the next 20 years.

And what of the Amir, Asif and Butt if they are found guilty? Given that the law is based on precedent, and punishment as a deterrent, life-bans seem the only logical answer for a sport searching for certainty.

But still no one is quite sure they want to ban Amir, because they like watching him too much. So what of the other two?

And on it goes…

Sam Collins is editor of thewisdencricketer.com

This isn’t to laud practitioners in the least bit. It’s to point out that choosing to rig even small elements of a cricket match involves taking on more than just the impact of a no-ball or a deliberately dead-batted maiden over. There’s almost certainly acute anxiety for one, but it’s also an extra ball to juggle in a situation where there might be a good few airborne balls already (some of which may have to be deliberately dropped, perhaps). I imagine the whole process is mentally draining.

Think about what a captain has to deal with during a one-day international. He must know the team’s plans for each opposition batsman; he must make his bowling changes, ensuring he keeps track of how many overs each bowler has remaining; he must consider the field, taking into account fielding restrictions when applicable; and he must decide when and how to use power plays. He also does about a million other things, but at least they’re all geared towards winning the match. As long as he remembers that primary aim, most things pretty much fall into place.

Now add to all of that an obligation to deliver a couple of well-timed no-balls – nothing worse than that; just two no-balls. For this to happen, the captain has to make sure the right bowler is on at the right time and he has to confirm with the bowler that a certain delivery has been earmarked to be a no-ball. This also has to happen without arousing suspicion. This is nothing too complex in itself, but add it on top of everything else and your mind is being pulled in several, occasionally conflicting directions. A no-ball to order is something you’ve got to be aware of constantly so that you don’t forget it.

I don’t think I’d be up to the task. If I’m making a round of tea at work and someone asks for an extra sugar, even that throws me. The information goes in initially, but moments later I find myself standing in front of the kettle and some empty mugs knowing that something needs doing differently without quite knowing what. How a spot-fixer would keep track of his shifting aims, I don’t know. If the worst claims are true, one day you’re out to win a match but have to bat out a maiden at a particular point; next match you’re batting brilliantly for three overs before weighing anchor (yet still trying to win); next match you’re actually out to lose, but you need to do it in such a way that you hopefully won’t get dropped.

Match tactics are complicated enough when you’ve got one constant aim – to do everything possible to win. When everything’s so qualified and your aims are so inconsistent, how do you keep track? This is without even considering all the off-field stuff that you’ll have to deal with; all the secrecy and plotting and furtive phone calls.

So what am I saying here? I’m not expressing admiration for these people, should they exist. I’m saying that any player who has fixed even a small element of a match has willingly taken on a bunch of stuff that will make life more difficult for them on a day to day basis. Cricketers caught spot-fixing haven’t slipped up. They have made a commitment.

Alex Bowden writes on kingcricket.co.uk as well as for Cricinfo’s Page 2. He also writes TWC’s weekly satirical newsletter – sign up for it here

A / B / C / D / E / F / G / H / I / J / K / L / M / N / O / P / Q / R / S / T / U

Unsure about your “corridor of uncertainty”? Worried that your “good areas” might not be up to snuff? Confused about exactly when you ought to “put your hand up”? Fret not: over the next 20 odd weeks, the Wisden Cricketer Online will bring you the Alternative Cricket Dictionary, edited by Alan Tyers, and we would very much like your contributions and suggestions. Please send your definitions to cricdic@gmail.com, or put them on twitter#cricdic or the comments below, and we will publish them.

V Type of cricket bat as made by Slazenger. Young kids wondered if the V on the bat stood for Vivian. Bowlers just wished he wouldn’t keep swinging it.

V, Playing Through The As in hitting it through mid-off to mid-on area; sign of all quality players, the exception being Tillakaratne Dilshan, who plays in the V between third slip and fine leg.

Vaas, Chaminda Sri Lankan of many talents and many initials, as would you be if your name was Warnakulasuriya Patabendige Ushantha Joseph Chaminda Vaas.

Valentine, Alf Windies spinner, one of two little pals of mine, helped announce West Indies cricket to the world in 1950.

van der Bijl, Vintcent Frightening-looking but extremely amiable Saffer who was briefly brilliant in County cricket and is now in charge of umpires. Would like to see StuBo show dissent to Big Vince.

Vandort, Michael Sri Lankyan.

van Jaarsveld, Martin Brought to Kent by Rob Key, who was unhappy to see that he hadn’t actually acquired a delicious type of holey, milky Norwegian cheese, but actually a determined South African opener.

Vaughan, Michael Elegant and, for some time, utterly brilliant England batsman who saw form tail off over career. Proved axiom that a captain is only as good as his bowlers, as captaincy record suffered due to key injuries. Now ubiquitous media figure, conceptual artist and wig salesman.

Vegetables Things they started making cricketers eat in the 1980s, as new-fangled dieticians ruined the joys of Brown Windsor soup, steak and kidney pie and treacle tart for the professional athlete’s lunch.

Vengsarkar, Dilip Brilliant Indian batsman of the Eighties, nickname The Colonel.

Venkataraghavan, Srinivasaraghavan Member of spin quartet turned umpire, known to all as Venkat. Thank goodness.

Verity, Hedley Left-armer, useful bat and unusual name; died after being injured in action in World War Two.

Vermeulen, Mark Fiery (literally, in the case of that Zimbabwe Cricket HQ incident) Zimbo cricketer who engaged a spectator in a full and frank exchange of views during Central Lancs League match. Was banned for ten years, which seems a bit ridiculous, fortunately this was reduced on appeal.

Vettori, Daniel Left-armer, useful bat, unusual name; mild-mannered looking student type, looks like the closest he would come to violent action would be swearing while watching Countdown.

Victim Agreeably melodramatic term for a dismissed batsman.

Victor Name of TMS colleague Marks that always sounds endearingly pompous when delivered by Agnew.

Victory Ultimate goal of cricket match, assuming you haven’t been nobbled by a dodgy bookie.

Video Analyst Role filled for England by Gemma Broad, who beat off stiff competition from hundreds of candidates whose brother wasn’t in the team or whose dad isn’t an admin bigwig.

Video Replay Big screen at grounds, although they often don’t show contentious incidents on it, for fear of the total collapse of civilisation as we know it etc.

Video Review System to ensure that howlers are not made, even though they still are.

Vincent, Lou No nonsense, have-boots-will-play Kiwi; fell foul of ICL backlash. Has girl’s name.

Viru Whirling dervish at top of Indian order. Wears nasty do-rag.

Vivian, Giff Little-known Kiwi bat of yore whose name is impossible to read without hearing it in your head in a Young Ones stylee.

Voce, Bill Bestie friends with Harold Larwood, with whom he formed formidable partnership for Notts and England.

Void What a match can be declared if ruined by rain and not ruined by DL method.

Volley Either of bouncers or, in case of Australian quick bowler, abuse.

Volley, Half Always juicy and very often served up.

Voting Process by which India and her cronies at the ICC kept John Howard at bay. Also method of selecting cricketer of the year. Apparently, this is harder to get right than one might imagine – as proved by Graeme Swann incident.

By Alan Tyers

Kevin Pietersen may not see it this way right now, but he may one day be thankful the selectors put him out of his misery. And that day may come very soon – as early, perhaps, as November 25 and the first day of the Ashes.

Being dropped may feel like a slap in the face, especially – as Pietersen tweeted, accidentally or otherwise – when you were recently named the best player of a global tournament. But reputations in international sport can be compromised more easily than they are made. And Pietersen’s form since he made merry in the Caribbean has not merely threatened brand KP: it has proved a luxury in England’s middle order.

Don Bradman usually gets dredged up at this point: he was ditched by Australia’s selectors after one Test and recalled two games later, at which point he embarked on the greatest prolonged run-spree the game will ever see. But a more pertinent comparison may be with Andrew Strauss. Omitted from the tour of Sri Lanka in 2007-08, he returned for the trip to New Zealand and saved his career with 177 at Napier.

Yet even that analogy does not quite work, for there is little doubt Pietersen will return almost immediately for the Ashes. If Strauss was subjected to the drip-drip water torture of a winter’s domestic cricket in New Zealand, Pietersen’s punishment is more akin to a short, sharp shock. The hope is he will respond accordingly.

Comments from the national selector Geoff Miller yesterday hinted at part of the problem. Miller suggested Pietersen had been given more chances to rediscover his form than Alastair Cook, who repaid the faith with a century at The Brit Oval. If that is the case, then a long-held suspicion among some sections of the English cricketing public has been confirmed: Pietersen operates on another plane from that populated by his team-mates.

This is partly down to his excellence. Even out of form, he brings expectation with him to the crease, the X-factor that electrifies crowds and sets the opposition on edge. It is a quality that cannot be bought and has helped erect a fence of inviolability around Pietersen – both in his own mind and, it seems, in that of others.

A few months ago, before the tour of Bangladesh, I interviewed him for The Wisden Cricketer. It was clear that, despite his struggles in South Africa, his confidence remained intact. But he also let slip a sense of his own pre-eminence, unwittingly referring to himself as the team’s ‘best batter’, then implying moments later he was England’s ‘best player’.

Fair enough, you might think. It’s hardly material to stop the presses. But Pietersen’s self-image is such that his travails this summer will have hit him harder than most. When you’re told often enough how brilliant you are, the flip-side hardly bears contemplation.

In that sense, then, Miller and Co really have done him a favour. Pietersen now has enough time to cope with the deflation, work on his game and return for Brisbane armed with the oldest and most dangerous of sporting clichés: a point to prove. Pietersen is right to be disappointed. But the Australians may currently be undergoing more complex emotions than that.

Lawrence Booth writes on cricket for the Daily Mail and you can sign up here for his weekly newsletter ‘the Top Spin’, which was recently named Online Column of the Year at the Sports Journalists’ Association awards.

Kevin Pietersen rarely conceals his emotions.

It was his impulsive decision making that first brought him to the UK, and those adrenalized assaults on South African and Australian attacks that earned him his reputation.

But it has caused him trouble too. The ECB made him captain of England, and then, as the Peter Moores-affair unfolded, decided they didn’t like his un-English way of confronting problems much at all.

And now this, the twitter-sweet rush of blood fascinating for its timing and stupidity, overshadowing the errors of Phil Hughes, Tim Bresnan and Azeem Rafiq in the way that his strokeplay has overshadowed the rest of England’s top six over the last five years.

The ECB has confirmed Pietersen is absent from the Twenty20 and ODI squads for the scheduled games against Pakistan, and questions abound.

Has Pietersen actually been dropped, as he alluded to in his tweet, or are the selectors resting a man short on confidence and form? Pietersen has struggled against Pakistan in the Tests, but it is not the only one, although the three other out of form England Test batsman who play ODIs – Eoin Morgan, Paul Collingwood and Andrew Strauss – were England’s top run scorers in the ODIs against Australia, while Pietersen scored 95 runs at 19. But would Pietersen be in the side if England were beginning their World Cup campaign next week? You would guess so.

If that is the case, the ECB failed to convey this to Pietersen, whose initial reaction appears the misplaced, context-free anger of a man whose pride has been knocked, whatever the platitudes of his official statement.

Pietersen’s loan move to Surrey solves a problem for the player and the ECB, with KP desperate to stay in London. Typically, Surrey’s otherwise unremarkable CB40 match against Worcestershire tomorrow is scheduled for TV. It might just get a few extra viewers now. What does Rory Hamilton-Brown make of this? Surrey’s young captain has already led Mark Ramprakash, Andre Nel, Younis Khan and Andrew Symonds in his debut season as he attempts to mould a team from a bunch of disparate characters.

And what of the future? By dropping a man at his lowest ebb, only four months after he was their most influential player at the World Twenty20 do England risk alienating Pietersen permanently? As an English journalist told Andrew Miller in January’s TWC, “Basically I think he is very insecure and wants to be loved but has not worked out how to achieve that. For some reason he doesn’t quite fit into the England dressing room.” The worst-case scenario is a disenchanted KP following Andrew Symonds into freelancing. That seems unlikely. Similar fears after he lost the captaincy proved unfounded and by opting to join Surrey for their final two Championship fixtures Pietersen has ignored the chance to play for Bangalore in the Champions League.

And if Pietersen’s loyalty to England were to break, would England need a player whose ego cannot withstand relegation? I spoke to Andy Flower before England flew out to the World Twenty20, and he was unequivocal about his attitude to dropping players. “Some guys need explanations of why they are not in the side but I try not to overdo it – they might want sympathy but they don’t need it. They weren’t as good as the guy who got picked and it is their job to get back into the side. There is a tendency to feel sorry for themselves. If you aren’t picked there is a reason for that.”

There is a message there for Kevin Pietersen – there is a way back into Andy Flower’s team, and it involves a new-media blackout and runs at The Oval.

Sam Collins is editor of thewisdencricketer.com

Take the positives out of this one. It’s like going for a picnic in a field full of dog turds and identifying the least offensive turd to lay your blanket next to.

The best I can do is say that currently the worst parts of the whole affair rely on the word of Mazhar Majeed. Arranging for the odd no-ball is bad enough, but actual match-fixing is a good few steps beyond that. I’d like to think that the arranged elements of matches didn’t stretch much beyond what appears to have happened in the Lord’s Test, but Majeed claimed he had fixed entire Test matches.

I can believe that a player can bowl a couple of deliberate no-balls in a day for money and still be trying to win a match. I’m not happy with that, but at least I can believe that the player’s priority is still his sporting performance and that therefore matches are more or less ‘real’. If money is their first priority then what am I actually watching?

I particularly disliked this comment of Majeed’s:

“You’ll find there’s only a few players who are genuine and who are actually here for the love of the game and there’s not many believe me. A lot of them are just looking for money, women and food.”

Aside from the fact that I’m pretty sure the Pakistan players are being fed, this implication that they don’t care about winning doesn’t quite ring true for me.

It is not easy to become an international sportsman. People talk about players being ‘gifted’ but the reality is that all of them have played their sport obsessively for much of their lives. They have made a lot of effort to get where they are and they have a lot vested in their careers. It is part of their identity.

Zinedine Zidane wasn’t thinking about Adidas sponsorship when he was kicking a ball around in Marseille as a child. He just loved football. That is how he got to be as good as he was. Similarly, even a player with a modest record like Salman Butt has some fundamental love for the game or he wouldn’t be where he is. In an interview with The Guardian a couple of weeks ago, Butt said of cricket:

“It was the passion of my life. I would go out in the street to look for someone to play with and if I couldn’t find anyone I would play in front of the mirror or just throw the ball against a wall and catch it.”

The Pakistan players looked happy when they took wickets and they looked dejected when Trott and Broad were building their huge partnership. I don’t think it was acting. I still think that the Pakistan players’ priority is to win, even if they’re happy to make life fractionally harder for themselves by occasionally mucking about for cash.

Maybe Majeed’s comments about rigging Tests and throwing one-day internationals amount to nothing more than big talk; lies and bluster from someone trying to impress investors. I really hope that’s the case.

It would be nice if the players had more of a black and white view when it came to rigging elements of a match. Unfortunately, they don’t. This is the situation we’ve been left with and stupid as it sounds, it still matters to me how dark grey their attitude has become.

Alex Bowden writes on kingcricket.co.uk as well as for Cricinfo’s Page 2. He also writes TWC’s weekly satirical newsletter – sign up for it here

I picked up a voicemail message from Sky News at about 9.45 last night. “Big cricket-related story,” the message said but they couldn’t tell me what it was until after 10pm. Returning to my Thai curry I wondered what it might be.

First thought – something relating to KP. Maybe he’s not going to the Ashes. Second thought, match-fixing.

So I phoned them back and heard the full horror of what the News of the World was alleging. In common, I imagine, with every cricket lover my first reaction was nausea. Not disbelief, because we’ve heard it all before, but deep shock and sadness.

I say ‘not disbelief’ but I couldn’t have conceived how specific and how apparently damning the NoW allegations would be.

Despite David Gower’s platitudes on Sky about these being allegations and not passing full judgement until all facts are known, no one is seriously believing that there is some great travesty here and it’s all just tomorrow’s fish-and-chip paper.

And we shouldn’t be naive here and think, much as we may wish to, that this is an isolated incident. Mazhar Majeed, the man arrested last night, is an agent to Pakistan players, not just some random punter. He is well known to them. This looks like textbook ‘grooming’.

At the moment this feels catastrophic for Pakistan cricket, for the world game, for certain talented individuals and indeed for the game in England that has been fighting for credibility against bonkers scheduling and declining crowds. What will this to the public perception of our favourite game?

What happens next? Well, leaving aside the police investigation, this is surely where the ICC anti-corruption unit and its hew head Ronnie Flanagan needs to show its teeth, show that it is something other than just window dressing.

What depresses more than anything is what this means for Pakistan cricket. Anyone who has seen Mohammad Amir’s brilliance this summer knows they have been privileged to observe. They know they have witnessed greatness. But what’s the future for him and others?

I’m not inclined towards kneejerk ‘kick ‘em out’ attitudes. Of course, if found guilty, ICC and PCB will show them little mercy but that does not deal with the culture that breeds this situation.

When I look at the Pakistan set-up, I see such fragility. I see a big-name coach in Waqar Younis and then I see a few blazers and a load of young men: unprepared physically or mentally in most cases for the environment in which they find themselves. All they have is their cricketing talent and their wits. Vulnerable, under-valued, greedy, yes but any more so than anyone else in their position? I don’t know. Who can change this? Perhaps, Imran, you should give up the politics. Just take over the cricket, all of it and sort it out. I’m probably clutching at straws but it feels like that kind of day.

And what a bloody great Test match this was until last night. That’s the real shame.

John Stern is editor of The Wisden Cricketer

Follow him on Twitter @WisdenCric_John

A / B / C / D / E / F / G / H / I / J / K / L / M / N / O / P / Q / R / S / T

Unsure about your “corridor of uncertainty”? Worried that your “good areas” might not be up to snuff? Confused about exactly when you ought to “put your hand up”? Fret not: over the next 20 odd weeks, the Wisden Cricketer Online will bring you the Alternative Cricket Dictionary, edited by Alan Tyers, and we would very much like your contributions and suggestions. Please send your definitions to cricdic@gmail.com, or put them on twitter#cricdic or the comments below, and we will publish them.

U Young person / idiot transliteration of the second person pronoun, rumoured to soon be banned in England dressing room along with all other Twitterese.

UAE Sometime home of cricketing administration; chosen because of the country’s strong heritage in sport. Albeit the sport of golf, as evidenced by the number of excellent courses.

Udal, Shaun Spinner, aged 104, enjoyed Indian summer when career looked over: literally, taking wickets of Sachin et al at Mumbai.

Ulyett, George Played in the first-ever Test match, Ulyett was one of those rarest of creatures: the Cheerful Yorkshireman, was known as ‘Happy Jack’ and also turned out for Sheffield Wednesday. Presumably that wasn’t so depressing a second job as it would be today.

Umar Akmal Zesty, talented middle-order batsman who answered the questions about whether he was ready for international cricket by getting banned from it for troublemaking after about five minutes. It was as if he’d been around the Pakistan outfit for years.

Umar Amin Pakistani specialist fielder; looks somewhat like an even more bug-eyed Alastair Cook.

Umar Gul Tall, patrician-looking Pakistan bowler. Hopefully nicknamed ‘Sea’.

Umbrella Essential accoutrement for enjoyment of English cricket season. Begat the Brumbrella, an unsightly thing that makes an annoying drone. Named after inhabitants of its city of origin.

Uncle What Faisal Iqbal called Javed Miandad. See nepotism, which is what some critics unjustly called Faisal’s selection. He’s got a Test average of nearly 27, you know. What more do they want?

Umpire He whose decision is final, unless you’re the best batsman in your team and there’s only dross left in the hut, or you just think he’s a bit of a lemon and you might as well try your luck.

Umpire Decision Review System Brilliant method of removing all doubt and human error from outs and not outs. Except it doesn’t. Does, however, remove drama of a wicket, as everyone stands around deciding whether, in the Knightyism, it’s “worth asking the question”.

Umrigar, Polly Indian cricketer; dude sounds like a lady.

Underarm Bowling in the good old days, which the arch sentimentalist Greg Chappell tried so bravely to resurrect in a 1981 ODI.

Underground, St John’s Wood Much better to walk to Baker Street.

Undone Rather poetic way of saying that a batsman has been dismissed by a good ball, usually one from a wily tweaker.

Unicorns Romantic, amateur team playing in the not romantic Pro-40.

Unit, Big Affectionate (usually) term for a player who is never shy of putting his hand up when it is time for vital carbo-loading work. See Blackwell, Ian; Cosgrove, Mark; Key, Big Bob et al.

United States Country which everyone is always trying to sell cricket to, in spite of its blatant lack of interest. There is no surer indication of the way the global economy’s wheel is turning than the fact that it is China upon whom the interest of the ICC’s greedy optimists is now focused.

University Place where an FEC might go before county cricket, as per Michael Atherton’s tale that his locker was daubed with ‘FEC’ shortly after he joined Lancashire from Cambridge. This stood for ‘Future England Captain’… or ‘F***ing Educated C***’.

Universities, Combined Fixture designed to help struggling county players feel better about themselves.

Underwood, Derek Brilliant spinner, a link to the distant past really, in that he bowled his left-arm at medium pace. Probably England’s greatest spinner, certainly had best nickname, Deadly.

Unorthodox Descriptive of a one-day batsman who hits short ball on leg-side to leg, rather than employing the now-standard double hop down the pitch, 270 degree turn with pike before balancing on one knee and potting the ball to third man with the handle-end of his bat used as if it were a snooker cue.

Unplayable Description of snorter; or recreational player who has over-refreshed at lunchtime and cannot take to the field for the rest of the day.

Unsung Cliché, inevitably followed by hero, inevitably used regards a fast-medium toiler.

Untouchable Member of the lowest of the low in Indian caste system; or description of an incumbent England batsman.

Unusual Dismissal Shorthand for saying that the batsman has made an absolute tit of himself, handling the ball, obstructing the field, getting out to Ian Salisbury, that sort of thing.

Upashantha, Eric Sounds like he might be a dub reggae pioneer; is actually Sri Lankan bits-and-pieces man.

Upper Class Social echelon that used to provide most, if not all, of the England XI but which – despite the best efforts of Andrew Strauss – would now only refer to the type of aeroplane cabin the players are travelling in.

Uppish, Bit Disapproving stiff-upper-lipped murmur (if one can in fact murmur through a stiff upper lip) when a batsman, especially a rather oikish one, smashes ball into row Z.

Up, Seam Polite term for medium-pace filth.

Upset, Potential Match involving England in an ICC limited-overs tournament.

Utseya, Prosper Headline writers must dream of the day that Utseya gets caught ball-tampering, etc. Not that we are saying he does.

Uxbridge Where Middlesex fulfil home fixtures when Lord’s is hosting matches involving actual cricket teams.

By Alan Tyers

The fourth Test starting at Lord’s tomorrow has become the grandstand finale this strange summer hardly deserves. A week ago the talk was of a whitewash, accompanied by the complacent lament that this was no sort of preparation for the Ashes. Now, England feel like an hour of doosras and reverse-swing away from surrendering a 2-0 lead against the side ranked a distant sixth in the world. It’s precisely the kind of frisson Andy Flower may reflect he could have done without.

Because make no mistake: the situation has changed. Not only are England suddenly fighting for their pre-Brisbane credibility (and they really are: 233 and 222 on a decent Brit Oval track hinted at frailties we all hoped had disappeared), but they are still scratching their heads over how best to fit seven batsmen into six.

A few weeks ago this blog suggested the headache was a pleasant one and that squad-building was an inevitable part of the modern game. That remains true, but the selectors may be no closer now to knowing their top six for the Gabba than they were before the series started. The two first-class warm-up games before the Ashes (a three-dayer against South Australia and a four-dayer against Australia A) are looming as last-gasp Test trials.

The reality is that Alastair Cook’s Oval hundred has complicated matters, for there now seems little prospect of his omission in Australia (which is not to say we won’t all be analysing his technique all over again in a few months’ time, but that’s another story).

Since Ian Bell is widely expected to resume the place that had become his almost by rights before he broke a foot, Paul Collingwood’s martial spirit will be an Ashes must, and – rightly, in my view – there is next to no chance England will drop Kevin Pietersen, we are back to where we started: Jonathan Trott v Eoin Morgan.

And yet this is tremendously unfair on both players. Trott has looked solidity itself in testing conditions, even if he has come in for a little flak over his 3½-hour 36 in the last game. As we’ve noted before, he is just the kind of player to grind Australia down at No 3: it’s funny how critics have stopped harping on about his prolonged guard-taking habit now that he’s doing the job.

Morgan, meanwhile, personifies this incessant game of fickle punditry better than anyone. Inked in for Brisbane after his superb match-winning 130 in the first Test at Trent Bridge, he has since managed 45 runs in four innings (one of them, admittedly, a run-out). Questions remain over his technique outside off-stump. From nowhere, he may just be the most vulnerable card in the pack.

It may not be fair or even very reasonable. But this is where England find themselves going into a game they simply cannot afford to lose. There will be pressure to beat Pakistan. And there will be pressure to make the team for Brisbane. Ricky Ponting and chums will be watching closely to see how England cope.

Lawrence Booth writes on cricket for the Daily Mail and you can sign up here for his weekly newsletter ‘the Top Spin’, which was recently named Online Column of the Year at the Sports Journalists’ Association awards.

Worse than all of these is: ‘They’ve lumped the first and second division averages in the same table’. I hate that one. I saw it on teletext this morning. It implies performance in the second division of the County Championship is worth as much as performance in the first division, which is flat-out wrong.

I see something similar in Cricinfo’s live scores for English domestic cricket throughout the season, where first and second division fixtures are all under the same heading. It might not seem a big deal, but I think it matters. Performance in the first division is worth more and it should be treated as such. Shoving everything in together skews views of players.

The second division isn’t worthless, but it is worth less. Is it even first-class cricket? Take that term literally and it seems bizarre to apply such a label to a group of counties who have been found to be inferior purely on the basis of performance. It’s second-class cricket down there. There are some excellent players in the second division, but those counties are in that tier for a reason. Just as a batsman new to Tests finds he’s suddenly faced with four or five great bowlers rather than two, so batsmen new to the first division find they’re confronted with two great bowlers where they’d been used to one or none.

The situation’s confused because the counties from the two divisions occasionally meet up for a quick drink and some one-day cricket, but the fact is that four-day county cricket is no longer just one thing and events in the two divisions shouldn’t be grouped together. You’re not comparing like with like.

Alex Bowden writes on kingcricket.co.uk as well as for Cricinfo’s Page 2. He also writes TWC’s weekly satirical newsletter – sign up for it here