Every week, TWC sends out its take on the previous seven days in cricket. It’s snappy, it’s funny, and it’s 100% free… all you need to do is subscribe. You’ll also get the chance to contribute to our ever-popular ’spot the cricketer’ thread (see below). Here’s our most recent offering as a sample. 

The week’s…

Euphemism “He failed, despite repeated warnings, to reach acceptable standards of fitness for international cricket.” An ECB statement about the comfortably proportioned Samit Patel.

Unlikely comeback “It’s pretty hard to bowl a legbreak with a microphone in your hand.” Shane Warne

Job description “It’s a bit overboard – I’m sure it’ll put people off.” Duncan Fletcher doesn’t fancy applying for his old England job.

Tangible statistic “No one feels those stats more than Fred.” Andrew Strauss responds to the fact that in recent times England have tended to win slightly more without ‘their talisman’

Bribery “When we get to Trinidad I want to sit down with him over a beer or take him out for a meal and see where we stand.” Steve Harmison seeks an explanation from Andrew Strauss as to why he was dropped

Attitude “He’s toiled well but without that pace and bounce in the wickets he’s probably not getting as much help to keep him as enthusiastic as he might want.” Strauss about Harmison

Pitch “It’s kind of tiring coming here.” Fidel Edwards didn’t particularly enjoy his Bridgetown experience.

Big disappointment “I’m very upset but you have to accept that it probably could have been worse.” Ramnaresh Sarwan on missing out on a triple hundred.

Website www.wisdencricketer.com – it’s not an online game and it’s not Facebook, so it pretty much counts as work. They can’t touch you for it.

Worryingly at ease with the world

Of all the indicators that this summer’s Ashes series might not be so glorious, this is perhaps the most worrying.

Ricky Ponting is a man who looks on the verge of tears at the best of times. When things don’t go his way, the stroppiness is magnified, but after two successive Test victories over South Africa, he’s relaxed enough to make jokes.

Speaking about the referral system, he said:

“Mike Hussey joked that he would question the decision every time he was given out. I had to remind him that he bats at No.4 and the opportunities to refer anything would be used up by then.”

It’s not exactly Wildean but it’s a far cry from the world-class hissy fit he produced when Gary Pratt ran him out.

Whispering to Whispering Death

In this month’s issue of The Wisden Cricketer, Daniel Brigham speaks to Michael Holding. He reveals how he switched from offbreaks to pace in his youth to get batting friends to move their legs out of the way.

Did he mind hurting his friends? “Not at all, not at all. If they wanted to keep their legs in the way that was their problem.”

Exclusive: Kevin Pietersen in just-sort-of-standing-there SHOCKER

Rod writes: “I got off the bus after work one evening a couple of months ago and was walking down the street to my flat. I live on the edge of Wandsworth Park. It was about 7.30pm and dark and I could see a tall, shady figure looking quite suspicious standing at the entrance gate to the park.

“As I got a little closer I could see he was dressed in some sort of matching team outfit. As I drew closer still, he started to look familiar and when I was finally close enough to see his face, I realised it was KP in full England team kit. There was no one else around for some distance. I have no idea why he was there.”

Have you spotted a cricketer doing something not all that significant? Maybe you’ve seen Samit Patel at Gregg’s. Maybe you’ve seen Ian Austin in the queue behind him. Whatever it is, we desperately want to hear from you. Email [email protected] and spare no mundane detail.

Subscribe to The Wisden Cricketer – if Pietersen’s taken to lurking near your house, we’ll let you know