Is there any point in listening to the vast majority of cricketers and cricket coaches?
Gone are the days when you get to hear what they think; now the team psychologists and media consultants seem to weigh in on every speech.
Sport has been infected by the positive speak merchants so much that you could cut and paste Tim Nielsen’s comments for Gary Kirsten, Andy Flower or Andy Moles without most people noticing.
Now the jargon has evolved from the standard sport clichés onto business acronyms and political spin.
Sure there are exceptions, Kevin Pietersen is an obvious one, but in general when anyone officially sanctioned speaks you get a steaming pile of turd on your shoes.
“We have complete confidence in (insert out of form cricketer’s name here)”.
Translation: Look, he is struggling, but we like him, and he’s a top bloke so we aren’t going to make it worse.
“I don’t see how this will disrupt us, we are a professional unit”.
Translation: Of course we wished it didn’t happen, let’s just hope we can somehow fluke a win.
“With that one win we have gained the momentum”.
Translation: Let’s hope we win again.
“We are taking the positives”.
Translation: We can’t think of anything good to say.
Do fans even stay awake when these sentences are being dribbled out to smiling clean-shaven microphone holders?
Andy Moles took it to new heights yesterday when he said, “History would suggest that there’s not too many sides win from this situation”. The situation he was speaking about was New Zealand 500 runs behind.
No Andy, there aren’t too many sides that have won from over 500 runs behind on second innings; actually there are none.
No need to be right when you’re being positive.
Jrod is an Australian cricket blogger. His site Cricketwithballs.com won last July’s Best of Blogs in TWC
3 users commented in " Jrod: Bored in translation "
Follow-up comment rss or Leave a TrackbackAgreed, though it really doesn’t help that the media piles into anyone who does give a decent, honest interview (KP, Harmison… er… yeah not really anyone else)
The problem is that when someone - like Pietersen - says something that is not the safe, politically correct and officially sanctioned line, the press jump on him and get excited about him not towing the party line and letting his team and adopted nation down. Example - “it has been a long tour, I’d quite like to go home and see my wife” - becomes the overprivilaged and ungrateful KP whinging about how terrible it is to get paid incredibly well to tour the world’s best holiday destinations playing a game the rest of us have to pay for. You journos cannot have it both ways!
To echo the previous comments, the players are damned if they do, damned if they don’t.
It could be worse - at the end of the day, they could all be Premiership footballers, to be fair, y’know?
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