It’s not easy being apart from the people closest to you: 11 weeks is a long time for any top international sportsman to be away from his publicist.

There’s so much you give up when you’re on tour. Just the day-to-day stuff, like the morning phone call to discuss marketing opportunities (“Should we endorse such-and-such a brand of dog food?” “Well, how much money is there in it?”).

Then the diary planning of events and personal appearances and fitting that in around cricket, which is my main focus (“Should we go to Auchtermuchty after the close of play to sign some cricket trousers?” “Well, how much money is there in it?”)

Perhaps even planning a trip to Hantshire (spelling?) to be photographed for the official team calendar in a little inset photo captioned ‘absent’: (“Well, how much money is there in it?”)

My publicist has been my rock through good times (landing that three-figure spokesmodel deal with Muller Fruit Corner) and bad (that sexy-yet-tasteful semi-nude photoshoot with Fred Goodwin for Take A Break magazine).

I’m not a jealous person; I’m too self-confident for that. But you wouldn’t be human if you didn’t wonder what he was up to: is he driving Lawrence Dallaglio to a book-signing in Guildford? Is he helping Sam Torrance launch a range of personalised duvet covers? It preys on your mind.

Sure, you speak on the phone and you can pass the time during a Paul Collingwood innings, emailing them and whatever, but it’s not the same and you wouldn’t be human if you weren’t a little worried.

More generally, you think of the things going on at home. The protests in London yesterday: I should have been there among the people, addressing the crowd from the Bank of England roof, leading the nation in whatever it was they were getting upset about. Anarchists, communists, radical anti-consumerists: as long as they’re buying Kevin Pietersen official-branded merchandise, they’re important to me – and I know that they are thinking of me, trapped in this Caribbean hell-hole.

Be strong, we will be reunited soon.

Alan Tyers was nowhere near his local RBS yesterday afternoon