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Daniel Brigham: Dreaming of change

August 13th, 2008 by Daniel Brigham in England, Test cricket and tagged , , , ,

Do androids dream of electric sheep? Has that one still not been answered? Luckily, a question I can answer is whether cricket journalists dream of cricket. For I am my own case study: now, I’m not proud of this, and it took me a little while to shake off the worry that this post may forever cast me as the ultimate cricket tragic, but last night I dreamed about KP’s next team announcement.

I was a little let down by my sub-conscious cricket knowledge, as KP wasn’t picking for the first Test in India but the non-existent fifth Test against South Africa next week. That aside, his picks were interesting: in came Adil Rashid for Monty Panesar, Simon Jones for Harmy and Darren Pattinson (remember him?) for Stuart Broad.

At A Level Psychology I was taught that dreams reflect your conscious mind’s desires. I was also taught that if you like horses it means you want to sleep with your mum. But I have no desire to see Pattinson or Rashid in the side (Jones yes), and I also have no desire to see KP make stupid captaincy calls and do badly. I also can’t imagine any of them LIKE horses.

However, dig deeper and I think I have it. Without having really thought about it I’m getting a little fed up with Monty. He doesn’t seem to be a great thinker of the game, he’s yet to develop an arm-ball, his fielding has regressed to sub-amateur level and he doesn’t take enough top wickets.

Then there’s Broad. I like him. He seems to have a great attitude, looks like he’ll be good enough to be a top performer in three or four years and is a fine batsman. But his bowling is lacking pace and variation – so far. When there’s a proven Test winner like Jones waiting for a recall it’s starting to look a little absurd keeping Broad in the side.

So there you go. Yes, dreaming about cricket may be deserving of a Cartoon Tie Nerd Award but it’s also revealed to me what had been stirring at the back of my mind but refusing to form – my desire is that Broad and Monty need replacing.

Not so long ago I also dreamed that 67-year-old Paul Nixon was picked as England wicketkeeper for the World Cup. Now that’s not even worth analysing. That couldn’t possibly happen.

Daniel Brigham is assistant editor of The Wisden Cricketer

Posted in England, Test cricket |

11 Responses to “Daniel Brigham: Dreaming of change”

  1.   SimonC says:

    Does Monty really not have an arm ball? I’ve seen a few people say so recently, but I could’ve sworn I remember being told it was what befuddled India in his debut series, and what the West Indies couldn’t get to grips with last year. Bob Woolmer said he’s got a “very good” one, as did Ponting. Has he stopped using it, then? Or did it never really exist?

    Here’s Monty trapping Tendulkar lbw - arm ball, or not? The video claims it is. Looks like one that just didn’t spin to me, but what do I know?

  2.   King Cricket says:

    We are regularly friends with Matthew Hayden in dreams.

    Once would have been once too many, but no, he haunts us with an Antipodean bonhomie that he’s never exhibited in real life.

  3.   Daniel Brigham says:

    King Cricket. Perhaps Hayden is doing God’s work. Has he instructed you to do anything?

  4.   Will says:

    How to ward off any potential readers in one easy step:

    “At A Level Psychology I was taught…”

  5.   Daniel Brigham says:

    Even easier way to ward off potential readers:

    “Will Luke reports on …”

  6.   Daniel Brigham says:

    SimonC. Tendulkar’s wicket one that just didn’t turn.

    It used to be that any Monty delivery that didn’t turn was described as an arm ball, when in fact he’d just failed to turn it.

    Hopefully this will be clarified in a dream at some point.

  7.   SimonC says:

    Yeah, I’ve been napping all morning in hope of A Sign, but only got something about Carol Vorderman eating spiders with a spoon.

  8.   Daniel Brigham says:

    If Vorderman reads that comment you’ll have Richard Whiteley’s (ex?) partner on the phone

  9.   King Cricket says:

    We had a beer and he told us some very interesting things about being an international opening batsman.

    His thoughts were quite enlightening, which is strange because presumably they were created by our own brain - unless it really WAS him.

  10.   Edward Craig says:

    Just met Stuart Broad. He is dreamy.

  11.   Daniel Brigham says:

    I just met Stuart Broad. He said Edward Craig’s cords were nightmarish.

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