We are two games into the Stanford vanity project. What have we learnt?

Sky commentators are good at sucking up no matter who is paying the bills.

Rolling a wicket for 40 hours straight doesn’t help as much as you’d think.

First-class teams fire up when they have to play their internationals.

Neil Carter is not good enough to hit real bowlers.

Stanford sees himself as a politician of some kind.

If you dress umpires like Ron Jeremy people will laugh at them.

White balls drop quicker from the sky according to the fielding coach for the Superstars.

Mike Haysman is a great interviewer – in depth, subtle, and gets the best out of people.

Dress Twenty20 cricket up however you like it, without sixes or last-over finishes and you might as well be watching ‘Battlefield Earth’.

Curtly Ambrose has the coolest hairstyle ever, a dreadlocked mo hawk.

Black bats aren’t cool, look stupid with white marks on them and don’t seem to have any place in the universe.

No one can see a damn thing in the outfield, so catches are a 50/50 proposition.

Stanford has shaken the hand of every person in the crowd, kissed a few babies and a WAG or two.

Two English sides playing Twenty20 against each other can put a West Indian crowd to sleep.

Money can buy you love but it can’t buy you a pitch that people can make runs on.

Everyone seems to see these wickets as spin friendly – except KP.

That we will watch anything resembling cricket.

Not even Bumble can make this exciting but he is trying.

What haven’t we learnt? To turn off the telly when the games get boring.

Jrod is an Australian cricket blogger, his site Cricketwithballs.com won July’s Best of Blogs in TWC