Of late, turning to the cricket pages is to read the latest instalment of What Chubby Says. Chubby says Flintoff should have played at Headingley. Chubby says Flintoff doesn’t want an England contract so he can go bungee jumping. Chubby says Flintoff gets tired running up snow-covered hills.

We are talking, of course, about Andrew ‘Chubby’ Chandler, Andrew Flintoff’s agent, the man who has suddenly appeared as Freddie’s second mouth just like the second mouth that suddenly extends, dripping, out of the monster in Alien. It was from this mouth that Hugh Morris, England’s managing director, learnt that Flintoff will be available for selection over the next year. Read the rest of this entry »

Mitchell Johnson was named ICC’s World Player of the Year last night at the annual awards ceremony in Johannesburg. He beat off competition from Take That’s Gary Barlow, Jude Law’s former nanny and me. That all seems fair enough, he’s a much better cricketer than all three of us. Lucky for him he wasn’t up against proper players like Gautam Gambhir, MS Dhoni and Andrew Strauss …

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