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Telford Vice: Australia advance, fair dinkum

October 6th, 2009 by telford vice in New Zealand, One-day cricket

So the New Zealanders came, saw and were duly conquered in the Champions Trophy final. Australia uber alles, and all that.

It is, of course, churlish to deny the Australians the glory they have earned and deserve.

It is, of course, not Australia’s problem that they are the best team in the game.

It is, of course, their opponents who need to find ways to beat them, or at least to become consistently competitive in matches against them.

That much is painfully obvious to those of us who are not Australian. It has been thus for too long.

What to do? It starts, like so much, with attitude. I can’t recall meeting an Aussie reporter who hasn’t followed up their handshake with something like, “Mate, we’re off in search of a drink and a feed tonight. Wanna come?”

More than that, they will want to go to good, local bars and restaurants, and they will trust your judgment on that score.

You will then have to threaten violence to pay your share of the bill. One of News Corporation’s finest, who has since given up the touring life, used to be illegally quick on the draw with his company credit card and a rapidly delivered battle cry: “This one pays in (Rupert) Murdochs!”

If an Australian journo needs to “borrow” a quote or a phone number, you can be sure you’ll be amply repaid with quotes and phone numbers, sometimes without even asking for them.

Truth is, I never met an Australian I didn’t like. They are bloody good blokes, and that goes for the female reporters as well.

The key, I think, is that Aussies reckon the world is a wonderful place, while too much of the rest of the cricket world refuses to pop its bubble of insularity. South Africans, Englishmen, Indians and Pakistanis are particularly prone to this pitfall.

Those are also the teams who, at home, often challenge and sometimes even beat the Australians. When they meet elsewhere, it’s a different story.

Until we all learn to take on the world on the front foot, and enjoy doing so, Australia will advance. Fair dinkum.

Telford Vice is a freelance cricket writer in South Africa

Posted in New Zealand, One-day cricket | 7 Comments »

7 Responses to “Telford Vice: Australia advance, fair dinkum”

  1.   King Cricket says:

    The grim inevitability that all my favourite Aussie hate figures will eventually reveal themselves to be pretty likeable is something I struggle to deal with.

    At least Hayden talks corporate balls quite often. Good on him for playing his part.

  2.   D Charlton says:

    They’re annoyingly good losers and, most of the time, decent winners. Unlike us English - MBEs, gloating and open top bus rides and all…

  3.   jrod says:

    They are all pricks.

  4.   Kris says:

    Speaking as a Tasmanian, I can attest that Australians are fantastic.

    Except for the ones from New South Wales. They’re real bastards.

    And Queensland. There’s a strong streak of insanity up there. I blame the heat.

    Oh, South Australians are odd too.

    And West Australian are even odder.

    Some Victorians are okay, I guess.

    Oh and the people from southern Tasmania are real mongrels.

    But other than that, Australians are great!

  5.   Jay says:

    Good blokes? Really? Try telling it to those Indian students who are subject to race attacks.

  6.   Matt says:

    Jay, you obviously are as educated as you sound.

    A: This is a cricket website racial politics that have no relation to the game of cricket are not for this forum.

    B: I strongly question if you have any real understanding from which to gauge the situation which you refer to, apart from erroneous and sensationalist media reports that are not reflective of Australian values and the sad issue at hand.

    C: We are bloody good blokes and can play the game of cricket quite well too.

    Oh and Kris, the confusing thing about those from Tas is that us bastards from NSW don’t know which head to talk to during conversation :)

  7.   Kris says:

    Matt, always defer to the better looking one!

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