In a wide-ranging interview with GQ Magazine, Andrew Flintoff has revealed that he worries for his kids growing up in our “violent country” and cites “rap music” as a negative influence. And while he has “no problems with a multicultural society”, the all-rounder says: “it annoys me when I phone a hotel receptionist in my own country and they don’t understand what I am saying because they don’t speak English. I think that’s wrong.”

We reveal a transcript from the Swallow Hotel, Preston.

Reception: “Hello, Swallow Hotel. Calls may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. How may I assist you?

Andrew Flintoff: Rooooooooccckeeeettt Maaaaaan, flyyyyyying through—

Reception: Excuse me sir?

Andrew Flintoff: Sorry about that. Having a bit of a sing-song.

Reception: Very good, sir.

Andrew Flintoff: None of that rappy rubbish. Good English sing-song with Sir Elton.

Reception: Ok sir, that’s great. Will there be anything else?

Andrew Flintoff: Send up some brews and that. Harmy – do you want owt?

**muttering in background**

Andrew Flintoff: Some plain digestive biscuits and an egg and chips.

Reception: Certainly sir.

**muttering in background**

Andrew Flintoff: And make sure it’s an English fried egg, not one of them fancy foreign poached numbers, he says.

Reception: Yes sir, fried egg and chips, digestives and some… brews?

Andrew Flintoff: Brews! Brews! Beers. God, it’s like being in a foreign country.

**Shouting and sobbing in background**

Andrew Flintoff: No! Harmy, Harmy, it’s alright. We’re not IN a foreign country, I said it’s LIKE being in a foreign country. Take the duvet off your head. Harmy! Give me back the phone.

Steve Harmison: I wanna gan hurm. Gerrus bairns on the telephurne. I wanna speak to wuz bairns like. And the British ambassaduur.

Reception: Excuse me sir?

Steve Harmison: You were right Fred, they divvunt understand a wurd like.

**sounds of scuffling for phone handset**

Andrew Flintoff: Now sit there quietly and watch your DVD.

Reception: Sir?

Andrew Flintoff: Not you. Sorry. Right. So we want them brews. B-R-E-W-S.

Reception: I’m sorry sir, we cannot provide alcohol to our guests after 11pm due to UK licensing laws.

Andrew Flintoff: I hate this country.

By Alan Tyers

We have to believe in ourselves. When we toured Australia in 1994-95 Mark Waugh spoke to the press about me. He said he wasn’t worried about Devon Malcolm because he’d just been playing the West Indies and when you’ve been facing Ambrose and Walsh why would you be scared of Malcolm? Well I showed him why at Sydney. I got him very early there, did him for pace, and pointed him back to the pavilion. I lost it a bit, and got called into the match referees office for the first time, but sometimes you wish people would wind you up more often. We have to try and control the aggression and turn around the negative things that the Australians say to the press.

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Devon Malcolm is writing weekly for thewisdencricketer.com for the duration of the West Indies tour of England in association with the Antigua Tourist Board