June 2009
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Alan Tyers: Roll up for ECB's £50 box of tricks

June 25th, 2009 by Alan Tyers in Alan Tyers, England, The Ashes

The ECB continue to emailshoot the world and his wife with a tempting Ashes tickets offer: a ‘Hamper Package’ at Edgbaston for a credit crunch-busting £125. If you would prefer just to buy one of the remaining match tickets (face value: £75) without the hamper then…  tough. Sorry. No hamper, no cricky. So what does this fifty quid box of delights contain?

Included inside

•    Small, lukewarm, meat-type pie – worth £50 just on its own (if purchased at official ECB concession stand).
•    Vegetarian snack personally selected by Warwickshire Director of Cricket Ashley Giles: Spinach omelette. (May be replaced with Spanish omelette)
•    Plastic pint glass (will be confiscated)
•    Opportunity to purchase one (1) Orange Club biscuit via priority queuing system (estimated wait time: less than one session of play)
•    Caffeine-infused energy chews to keep you awake if Alastair Cook really gets going
•    Complaint form
•    Mars Bar, distress flare, bandage and makeshift splint to throw at Andrew Flintoff if he is fielding on boundary
•    Special souvenir box-set ‘Colly’s Heroes’ – the definitive story of England’s World Twenty20 campaign (Betamax cassette format, limited edition of 150,000).
•    To encourage youngsters to get into cricket, an exciting new confection called “a chocolate biscuit” and a packet of “crisped potatoes”.
•    Special ECB-partner alcoholic drink to be confirmed later. (Note: it is forbidden to bring alcohol into the ground, if you do bring your hamper in, you may be ejected)

Upgrade Options Are Available

For just £25 extra, why not treat yourself to the Ashes Hamper Deluxe, which features all the ingredients above, plus a can of Panda Cola and a chance to hear Jack Bannister give a lunchtime lecture on the different types of soil used at Edgbaston.

A Super Deluxe Hamper at £200 per person offers all the benefits of the Deluxe Hamper, without the lunchtime lecture.

For our corporate guests, boxes are available from £500 per person per day offering excellent views of the cricket, or unsighted boxes that do not offer a view of the playing area from £750 per person per day.

As sold to Alan Tyers

Posted in Alan Tyers, England, The Ashes | 1 Comment »

One Response to “Alan Tyers: Roll up for ECB's £50 box of tricks”

  1.   Richard Hamilton says:

    Very funny. Spanish omelette - brilliant line.

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